My New Year's Resolution

My New Years resolution is the same one I have every year, it is not to have a New Year's resolution. I think making them sets you up for failure. Come on how many resolution have you made or kept? Or anyone elses? Not many I bet! I just think it's a terrible idea. Because mostly likely you not going to keep it. And if you tell anyone what it is, months later someone going to ask what happen to your New Year's resolution? There's one in every crowd that will love pointing out you didn't keep it.
Then comes the end of December again. And you start thinking about the resolution you didn't keep and you feel kind of bad about it. But you will convince yourself this time will be different, you will keep it. But like me you'll break it. Like I do every year but saying my New Year's resolution is not to have a resolution. Curses foiled again!

Warning don't use self checkout unless you have esp!

Well you learn something new everyday. I learned that to use the self checkout at an unnamed store (Jewel) you need esp. Let me explain. I went to the unnamed store (Jewel) the other day to get a few items for New Years Eve. Middle of the morning and the lines were long. Even the 10 items or less, so I decided to use the self checkout. Now in theory I loathe them because we do all the work and they still charge us the same. I think we should get a 5 to 10% discount for doing all the work. Anyway back at the store I waited for a station to open. When one did I started my checkout. I get to the fourth item and the damn machine freezes up and start saying get employee to assist. Now the monitor for the lanes disappeared. I'm looking around nobody's home. The woman behind me said the monitor went outside. So I am waiting a couple of minutes and a new woman goes to the monitoring station. So I say "Excuse me I need help here". And this broad (aka bitch) says very snotty "I am helping you lady". I can't believe my ears, so I look at the woman behind me. She looks as stunned as I feel. Now I have always have seen them come to the station to help you but apparently they can do things at the monitoring station. Who knew? See that's why you need esp.
So the machine clears and I finished my checkout. I said very loudly "thanks for the wonderful customer service". Then I step up to her face and read her name tag and walked out. Now I get home and I did something I have never done before. I called the store manager and complained about an employee. Now I don't having any problems with complaining, but I hate talking to strangers on the phone. But that broad (bitch) worked my last nerve. So I just vented to the store manager and of course they will say anything to please you. Will something happen? Probably not but I sure felt better. I felt like that guy in the movie Network. Yelling we're mad as hell and we're not going to take it anymore!
I know what you're thinking now, because I am practicing my esp for next shopping trip!

Cindy

Today 2 years ago the world lost a very special woman and I lost a best friend. My friend Cindy died of breast cancer at age 43. She was diagnosed at age 39. And she lived as long as the doctors first said she would. Cindy was such a special person. She had a heart of gold. She gave freely of herself her time and her money. She gave for the simple joy of giving. We would go out at lunch time shopping and she would see something that someone liked or collected. She would buy it for them for no reason at all. She practiced random acts of kindness long before Oprah. Cindy was everything you could ask for in a friend. She listened, she was comforting, she was fun, and she was silly. She did great impersonations of Wolf man Jack, Elvis and the guy in Swingblade. At work we come up with a joke or prank and pull it off. No one ever believed Cindy was involved, I always got the blame!
I was with Cindy when she found out she had breast cancer and it was the only time I saw her cry about it. She never complained or asked why me. She handled it with strength and true courage. I knew it was painful as had already spread to the bone when she found out. Occasionally we would speak in general about pain, as I suffer from chronic pain. I have to admit I complained but she didn't. When she found she went to the hospital for more testing. The first night she was there we spoke privately. And I told her that I would follow her lead if she wanted to talk about cancer or anything else. Cindy had always kept her emotions in check and as loving as she was. She definitely wasn't a touchy feely person unlike my Italian self.
So I honored my promise and we never really discussed it again. We kept our friendship as before. Acting as if there was all the time in the world. I hope she didn't find that as hard to do as I did. But my love for my friend made it easier to do. And this wasn't about me but her. So we stayed that way to the end. The last time she was aware of things we were still making jokes and laughing together as usual. And about a week later she was gone. The world is a sadder place. Her family and friends are sadder, as am I. But we were all blessed to have had her in our lives. I so miss her.

Christmas Eve

Here it is again Christmas Eve, Probably one of my favorite days of the year. Even as a child it was my favorite because of family tradition. My Grandmother was first generation born American her parents were from Germany. She lost her Mother in the great flu epidemic. Had Grandma lived this Halloween she would have been 100. For all of her life and mostly likely her parents and stepmother honored the German tradition of family and celebrating Christmas Eve. When my grandparents were alive every year we went to there house on Christmas Eve. We drove the 40 or so odd miles in what ever weather god gave us. Listening and singing (badly) carols on the way out and back. The excitement on the long ride was more then I could bear. At long last we would arrive at my grandparents house. A few lighted decorations on the outside and their 4 foot tree on a table in front of the picture window. Now you couldn't go in the front door because there were so many presents under the tree and besides it was easier to go thru the garage and less messy for Grandma. Then began the long wait for Aunt Nity who was always late. Even when she had kids herself. I was about 11 when she and Uncle Dick adopted Dave and 13 when they adopted Jan. Finally they would arrive and Uncle Dick would tells us that he ran over Santa's sled. When Joey and me were younger we would be very upset. But soon the allure of gifts would make us forget. My cousins and me would scope out the tree looking for our gifts. And wonder who or how many of us would get a big gift that my grandparents would hide in the front bedroom. Those gifts came only after all the gifts were opened. Finally it was time to open the gifts. It took a long time as we would open one gift at a time. And everyone bought a gifts for everyone. I loved to watch everyone opening their gifts. I was happy sitting with family and drinking a sodie pop. And when the last gift was opened Grandma would go to the front bedroom and bring out the big stuff. One year for me it was a baby buggy another a TV. Joey got a bicycle and other big sports stuff.

Then we would all head to the basement for food and drinks. Grandpa built a wet bar down there and they had the old living room set down there. I loved that set it was black and gray with pink roses very gaudy very 50's. Now Grandma wasn't the best cook (bless her heart). But she would make So Good Barbecue. A jarred barbecue made and sold only in Elgin Il where they lived. That it the best barbecue ever. Because no one could decide if they liked the pork or beef best so she mixed the two. Aunt Lyn would bring her deviled eggs (delicious). And there would be potato chips. One of the best meal ever. My mouth waters thinking about it. Down in that basement was a lot of laughter and drinking going on. I don't ever remember bringing any new toys to basement to play with because we just were just happy to be together. Us cousins would try to guess what Santa would bring and if Uncle Dick really did hit Santa's sleigh.

When the food had been eaten and the drinks drunk. It was time to loaded the car and say our goodbyes. Hugs and kisses all around. Then singing (badly) all the way home.

Now on a bitter note a few years after the grandparents were gone, the family rotated Christmas Eve between the 3 sisters. Then one years 2 or 3 members of one branch of the family decided for all of us to stop the family get together Christmas Eve. They may have stopped the get togethers but they will never take the memory of Christmas Eve at my grandparents. I love those times and the family. Now I have a new tradition I am sure my grandparents would approve of. So to all of you I wish for you a Happy Christmas Eve and may you make memories as special as mine.

Wrapping Ugh!

As much as I love Christmas it is as much as I hate wrapping. Not only do I hate it but I really suck at it. No matter how hard I try it still looks like a five year old did it. Everyone tells me to put stuff in bags and I do for some gifts. But to be honest as easy as they are I don't really like them. I like wrapped presents. Watching someone tear open a gift is so much fun and love the sound the paper makes. A tree looks best when there are wrapped gifts underneath. Besides as any cat owner will tell you bags and cats don't mix. They love to climb in them and to pull out the tissue paper. And the gifts aren't even theirs. When the kid was at home she would help me wrap. Now those were the days. The kid no longer helps me with wrapping and she made it worse. She married the boy and now I have one more to wrap for! Well I'll wrap (pun totally intended) this up for now and go wrap some more. UGH!!

Tingling and Giddy

I am tingling and giddy. It's my favorite time of year. I love Christmas. I love the reason, the songs (except for Jingle Bell Rock), the decorations, the smells, the foods , and best of all giving gifts. I love to give gifts. I always understood why Elvis gave away cars and Rosie O'Donnell always gave the audience gifts. For the pure joy of giving. To see the look on someone face when you give a great gift or in many of my gifts the laughter that erupts from a gag gift. I always wanted to be rich so I could have Christmas all year long. Let me say I also wanted to be rich for the creature comforts too. But image to able to buy the present of someones dreams. But I do love Christmas! And I still get excited for the day to come. Really it starts Christmas eve, then Christmas day and the day after. The day after me and the kid go shopping. I have done this with from the time she was 3 months old. It's tradition and cheapness. I can honestly say I have not paid full price for any wrapping paper, bows, tags, cards or most decorations since the year I got married. I even moved to Iceland with enough wrapping paper etc for 3 years and I even brought back some. Now the kid is doing the same thing. It's a tradition I love. And we must be nuts to do it. We have been known to get up at 4:30 AM to be a store opening at 5. But generally by the time everyone else rolls out of bed, we have had lunch and are heading home for a nap. I guess I love Christmas so much because I don't celebrate any other holiday. Not since the kid got married. So I do Christmas big. Not as big as I did when the kid was home. I have given up decorating and baking cookies. I used to have 3 tress in a 5 room apartment. Lights, garland, and other decoration everywhere. Even the bathroom I had Santa shower curtain etc. And the cookies. I think I made a least a 100 dozen cookies every year, loaves of carrot bread, and for a few years candy. So I still do Christmas big in my own way. I am always tingling and giddy this time of year.

My Lobotomy A Memoir

Most people who know me would be waiting for a punchline for the title of this entry. But this isn't funny. Now my kid writes wonderful reviews of books on her blog and when I learn how I will link hers with mine. And I am not going to write a review about My Lobotomy A Memoir, instead I will tell you about my feelings with this book. My Lobotomy A Memoir will haunt me all the days of my life. It is a profoundly sad book. It took me a long time to read it as emotions often overtook me. I wept for this child who is now a man. But still I weep for him. His stepmother stole from him his life, his possibilities, and his family. More importantly she could not destroy his soul, his compassion, his humanity, nor his ability to love. As much as I care for this man, I have hatred in my heart for his stepmother. I cannot understand why she did what she did. I cannot understand why his father agree to it. And along the way social workers, doctors, nurses, family members, and friends of the family knew what going on. And not one person tried to save this child from a lobotomy at age 12. I just can't wrap my head around it. I sure would like to give him a hug.
There is only one other book that haunts me as this book will. The other book is No Language But A Cry. I read that book when I was in the 8Th grade. And there are times to this day I think about that baby girl. As with her I will keep Howard Dully story in my heart and in my prayers.

Shopping the new way

If you remember my other post about shopping, I said I was going to shopping the new way. So today I finished my last online purchase (maybe). Now I have to say I love shopping online. I can compare prices on my own or with help from search engine sites (mysimon.com etc). I can browse as long as I like, no bothersome salesperson, and I can do it my underwear. It is amazing some of the deals I have gotten. Mostly I always get free shipping and usually no tax. Which is a big plus for me as my city tax alone is 8.75% the highest in the country. If you look cross eyed here they tax you. Now I realize shopping online isn't for everyone. Like buying clothes. The only clothes i buy online are PJ's and t shirts. It also helps that my family loves entertainment items. And the kid and the boy are frugal and green. So I can buy books, Cd's, DVDs and video games used (love amazon & eBay for that). The only problem I have shopping online is it's easy to go crazy. I thought I made my last purchase online Monday but tonight I went browsing and found a bargain I could not resist. So I usually go overboard. But I don't care because giving gifts to the people I love gives me so much pleasure. Well I need to end this now because I just remembered something I forgot to order. Thank goodness I am dressed for it in my underwear.