My New Year's Resolution

My New Years resolution is the same one I have every year, it is not to have a New Year's resolution. I think making them sets you up for failure. Come on how many resolution have you made or kept? Or anyone elses? Not many I bet! I just think it's a terrible idea. Because mostly likely you not going to keep it. And if you tell anyone what it is, months later someone going to ask what happen to your New Year's resolution? There's one in every crowd that will love pointing out you didn't keep it.
Then comes the end of December again. And you start thinking about the resolution you didn't keep and you feel kind of bad about it. But you will convince yourself this time will be different, you will keep it. But like me you'll break it. Like I do every year but saying my New Year's resolution is not to have a resolution. Curses foiled again!

Warning don't use self checkout unless you have esp!

Well you learn something new everyday. I learned that to use the self checkout at an unnamed store (Jewel) you need esp. Let me explain. I went to the unnamed store (Jewel) the other day to get a few items for New Years Eve. Middle of the morning and the lines were long. Even the 10 items or less, so I decided to use the self checkout. Now in theory I loathe them because we do all the work and they still charge us the same. I think we should get a 5 to 10% discount for doing all the work. Anyway back at the store I waited for a station to open. When one did I started my checkout. I get to the fourth item and the damn machine freezes up and start saying get employee to assist. Now the monitor for the lanes disappeared. I'm looking around nobody's home. The woman behind me said the monitor went outside. So I am waiting a couple of minutes and a new woman goes to the monitoring station. So I say "Excuse me I need help here". And this broad (aka bitch) says very snotty "I am helping you lady". I can't believe my ears, so I look at the woman behind me. She looks as stunned as I feel. Now I have always have seen them come to the station to help you but apparently they can do things at the monitoring station. Who knew? See that's why you need esp.
So the machine clears and I finished my checkout. I said very loudly "thanks for the wonderful customer service". Then I step up to her face and read her name tag and walked out. Now I get home and I did something I have never done before. I called the store manager and complained about an employee. Now I don't having any problems with complaining, but I hate talking to strangers on the phone. But that broad (bitch) worked my last nerve. So I just vented to the store manager and of course they will say anything to please you. Will something happen? Probably not but I sure felt better. I felt like that guy in the movie Network. Yelling we're mad as hell and we're not going to take it anymore!
I know what you're thinking now, because I am practicing my esp for next shopping trip!

Cindy

Today 2 years ago the world lost a very special woman and I lost a best friend. My friend Cindy died of breast cancer at age 43. She was diagnosed at age 39. And she lived as long as the doctors first said she would. Cindy was such a special person. She had a heart of gold. She gave freely of herself her time and her money. She gave for the simple joy of giving. We would go out at lunch time shopping and she would see something that someone liked or collected. She would buy it for them for no reason at all. She practiced random acts of kindness long before Oprah. Cindy was everything you could ask for in a friend. She listened, she was comforting, she was fun, and she was silly. She did great impersonations of Wolf man Jack, Elvis and the guy in Swingblade. At work we come up with a joke or prank and pull it off. No one ever believed Cindy was involved, I always got the blame!
I was with Cindy when she found out she had breast cancer and it was the only time I saw her cry about it. She never complained or asked why me. She handled it with strength and true courage. I knew it was painful as had already spread to the bone when she found out. Occasionally we would speak in general about pain, as I suffer from chronic pain. I have to admit I complained but she didn't. When she found she went to the hospital for more testing. The first night she was there we spoke privately. And I told her that I would follow her lead if she wanted to talk about cancer or anything else. Cindy had always kept her emotions in check and as loving as she was. She definitely wasn't a touchy feely person unlike my Italian self.
So I honored my promise and we never really discussed it again. We kept our friendship as before. Acting as if there was all the time in the world. I hope she didn't find that as hard to do as I did. But my love for my friend made it easier to do. And this wasn't about me but her. So we stayed that way to the end. The last time she was aware of things we were still making jokes and laughing together as usual. And about a week later she was gone. The world is a sadder place. Her family and friends are sadder, as am I. But we were all blessed to have had her in our lives. I so miss her.

Christmas Eve

Here it is again Christmas Eve, Probably one of my favorite days of the year. Even as a child it was my favorite because of family tradition. My Grandmother was first generation born American her parents were from Germany. She lost her Mother in the great flu epidemic. Had Grandma lived this Halloween she would have been 100. For all of her life and mostly likely her parents and stepmother honored the German tradition of family and celebrating Christmas Eve. When my grandparents were alive every year we went to there house on Christmas Eve. We drove the 40 or so odd miles in what ever weather god gave us. Listening and singing (badly) carols on the way out and back. The excitement on the long ride was more then I could bear. At long last we would arrive at my grandparents house. A few lighted decorations on the outside and their 4 foot tree on a table in front of the picture window. Now you couldn't go in the front door because there were so many presents under the tree and besides it was easier to go thru the garage and less messy for Grandma. Then began the long wait for Aunt Nity who was always late. Even when she had kids herself. I was about 11 when she and Uncle Dick adopted Dave and 13 when they adopted Jan. Finally they would arrive and Uncle Dick would tells us that he ran over Santa's sled. When Joey and me were younger we would be very upset. But soon the allure of gifts would make us forget. My cousins and me would scope out the tree looking for our gifts. And wonder who or how many of us would get a big gift that my grandparents would hide in the front bedroom. Those gifts came only after all the gifts were opened. Finally it was time to open the gifts. It took a long time as we would open one gift at a time. And everyone bought a gifts for everyone. I loved to watch everyone opening their gifts. I was happy sitting with family and drinking a sodie pop. And when the last gift was opened Grandma would go to the front bedroom and bring out the big stuff. One year for me it was a baby buggy another a TV. Joey got a bicycle and other big sports stuff.

Then we would all head to the basement for food and drinks. Grandpa built a wet bar down there and they had the old living room set down there. I loved that set it was black and gray with pink roses very gaudy very 50's. Now Grandma wasn't the best cook (bless her heart). But she would make So Good Barbecue. A jarred barbecue made and sold only in Elgin Il where they lived. That it the best barbecue ever. Because no one could decide if they liked the pork or beef best so she mixed the two. Aunt Lyn would bring her deviled eggs (delicious). And there would be potato chips. One of the best meal ever. My mouth waters thinking about it. Down in that basement was a lot of laughter and drinking going on. I don't ever remember bringing any new toys to basement to play with because we just were just happy to be together. Us cousins would try to guess what Santa would bring and if Uncle Dick really did hit Santa's sleigh.

When the food had been eaten and the drinks drunk. It was time to loaded the car and say our goodbyes. Hugs and kisses all around. Then singing (badly) all the way home.

Now on a bitter note a few years after the grandparents were gone, the family rotated Christmas Eve between the 3 sisters. Then one years 2 or 3 members of one branch of the family decided for all of us to stop the family get together Christmas Eve. They may have stopped the get togethers but they will never take the memory of Christmas Eve at my grandparents. I love those times and the family. Now I have a new tradition I am sure my grandparents would approve of. So to all of you I wish for you a Happy Christmas Eve and may you make memories as special as mine.

Wrapping Ugh!

As much as I love Christmas it is as much as I hate wrapping. Not only do I hate it but I really suck at it. No matter how hard I try it still looks like a five year old did it. Everyone tells me to put stuff in bags and I do for some gifts. But to be honest as easy as they are I don't really like them. I like wrapped presents. Watching someone tear open a gift is so much fun and love the sound the paper makes. A tree looks best when there are wrapped gifts underneath. Besides as any cat owner will tell you bags and cats don't mix. They love to climb in them and to pull out the tissue paper. And the gifts aren't even theirs. When the kid was at home she would help me wrap. Now those were the days. The kid no longer helps me with wrapping and she made it worse. She married the boy and now I have one more to wrap for! Well I'll wrap (pun totally intended) this up for now and go wrap some more. UGH!!

Tingling and Giddy

I am tingling and giddy. It's my favorite time of year. I love Christmas. I love the reason, the songs (except for Jingle Bell Rock), the decorations, the smells, the foods , and best of all giving gifts. I love to give gifts. I always understood why Elvis gave away cars and Rosie O'Donnell always gave the audience gifts. For the pure joy of giving. To see the look on someone face when you give a great gift or in many of my gifts the laughter that erupts from a gag gift. I always wanted to be rich so I could have Christmas all year long. Let me say I also wanted to be rich for the creature comforts too. But image to able to buy the present of someones dreams. But I do love Christmas! And I still get excited for the day to come. Really it starts Christmas eve, then Christmas day and the day after. The day after me and the kid go shopping. I have done this with from the time she was 3 months old. It's tradition and cheapness. I can honestly say I have not paid full price for any wrapping paper, bows, tags, cards or most decorations since the year I got married. I even moved to Iceland with enough wrapping paper etc for 3 years and I even brought back some. Now the kid is doing the same thing. It's a tradition I love. And we must be nuts to do it. We have been known to get up at 4:30 AM to be a store opening at 5. But generally by the time everyone else rolls out of bed, we have had lunch and are heading home for a nap. I guess I love Christmas so much because I don't celebrate any other holiday. Not since the kid got married. So I do Christmas big. Not as big as I did when the kid was home. I have given up decorating and baking cookies. I used to have 3 tress in a 5 room apartment. Lights, garland, and other decoration everywhere. Even the bathroom I had Santa shower curtain etc. And the cookies. I think I made a least a 100 dozen cookies every year, loaves of carrot bread, and for a few years candy. So I still do Christmas big in my own way. I am always tingling and giddy this time of year.

My Lobotomy A Memoir

Most people who know me would be waiting for a punchline for the title of this entry. But this isn't funny. Now my kid writes wonderful reviews of books on her blog and when I learn how I will link hers with mine. And I am not going to write a review about My Lobotomy A Memoir, instead I will tell you about my feelings with this book. My Lobotomy A Memoir will haunt me all the days of my life. It is a profoundly sad book. It took me a long time to read it as emotions often overtook me. I wept for this child who is now a man. But still I weep for him. His stepmother stole from him his life, his possibilities, and his family. More importantly she could not destroy his soul, his compassion, his humanity, nor his ability to love. As much as I care for this man, I have hatred in my heart for his stepmother. I cannot understand why she did what she did. I cannot understand why his father agree to it. And along the way social workers, doctors, nurses, family members, and friends of the family knew what going on. And not one person tried to save this child from a lobotomy at age 12. I just can't wrap my head around it. I sure would like to give him a hug.
There is only one other book that haunts me as this book will. The other book is No Language But A Cry. I read that book when I was in the 8Th grade. And there are times to this day I think about that baby girl. As with her I will keep Howard Dully story in my heart and in my prayers.

Shopping the new way

If you remember my other post about shopping, I said I was going to shopping the new way. So today I finished my last online purchase (maybe). Now I have to say I love shopping online. I can compare prices on my own or with help from search engine sites (mysimon.com etc). I can browse as long as I like, no bothersome salesperson, and I can do it my underwear. It is amazing some of the deals I have gotten. Mostly I always get free shipping and usually no tax. Which is a big plus for me as my city tax alone is 8.75% the highest in the country. If you look cross eyed here they tax you. Now I realize shopping online isn't for everyone. Like buying clothes. The only clothes i buy online are PJ's and t shirts. It also helps that my family loves entertainment items. And the kid and the boy are frugal and green. So I can buy books, Cd's, DVDs and video games used (love amazon & eBay for that). The only problem I have shopping online is it's easy to go crazy. I thought I made my last purchase online Monday but tonight I went browsing and found a bargain I could not resist. So I usually go overboard. But I don't care because giving gifts to the people I love gives me so much pleasure. Well I need to end this now because I just remembered something I forgot to order. Thank goodness I am dressed for it in my underwear.

Buying Money

I have never understood buying money by coin or currency collectors. I take money at face value. There is no way I pay $5.00 for a penny. And it sounds stupid buying money. It's an oxymoron. I don't understand buying painted money or collector sets. $20.00 for a penny nickel dime and quarter. It doesn't add up.
But what really gets me is the government issuing state quarters and presidential dollars. And people are collecting them. It is a smart move by the government. Millions of people are collecting them. Not spending them. All these quarters and dollars add up. And I am sure it benefits the government in some way. If nothing more then manipulating numbers.
Now if any ones interested I have some pennies I will sell you for a dollar each.

Would you like more gravy on the spare tire?

Happy turkey day to all you Thanksgiving lovers. I am not one of you. Of all the holidays I have always hated this one. Until a few years ago I didn't really like turkey that much. So the holiday has always been a yucky one for me. For years while i was married we only celebrated it once. I cooked our first thanksgiving & needless to say the effort I put into it was not appreciated. So it was not worth my time to do it again.
But even before I was married I hated it. It was so chauvinistic. The women cooked all day and washed dishes all night. While the men watched TV and scratched themselves in undesirable places. They never lifted a finger, except to call for more beer. And the TV they watched was football. I never remember if that's the game where you dribble or not. It just never seemed fair to me.
And the food never appealed to me. Like I said I didn't like turkey. Then you have stuffing the thought of putting that in my mouth makes me gag. Wet soggy bread with additions like oysters, sausage, corn bread, fruits, vegetables and sage. UGH!! Gravy I could take it or leave it (and I usually left it). Mashed potatoes and mashed sweet potatoes. And a can of some vegie. See nothing to get excited about.
So to me it was a holiday for women to feel overworked, underpaid, and not appreciated. Like any other day. At least in my family. The last few years I have spent with my mean mudder. Since the kid married the boy they go to his family house. We cook a little dinner nothing fancy.
This year was suppose to be a treat. We were ordering from a place that shall remain nameless (Boston Market). Just heat and eat. What could be better than that. Try needles in you eyes. It was a disaster from the moment of pickup.
First of all they could not find the order, twenty minutes later they find my order. It's not ready cause they are heating it. We ordered it chilled. Now I repeated several times what we ordered and I even handed them a list of our order. You don't have to be Fellini to know we did not get what we ordered. Now I could of lived with all of that but then there was the gravy.
Oh yes the gravy. That's what sent me over the edge. Now I realize that an Albert Einstein probably doesn't working there, but you would think that they would know how to use saran wrap and put a lid on a container. Apparently they missed that day in training. I had put the food in my trunk for the ride home. Now i have a brand new car 6 months old, 2500 miles, and knock on wood no scratches. But I now have a brand new car with a trunk full of gravy. Some asshole did not pack the gravy right. Now it just didn't stay in the trunk. There a little hole by the latch to reach the spare tire. The gravy went to that hole like a moth to a flame and soaked the spare tire. I spent an hour in the pouring rain cleaning my trunk. I also had the gravy on my pants and purse which the cats cleaned for me.
So this thanksgiving I opened a can of vegies and left the gravy.

Dumb Names For Rugrats

Why on earth do people insist on giving kids dumb names? Names like Moon Unit, Trixie Crimefighter, Ever, Pilot,Apple and Rumor. Or give them names that are spelled so oddly that you don't know how to pronounce them. And my biggest pet peeve a name that usually belongs to the opposite sex of the child. That's me, I have a boys name. And i have hated it all my life! As if childhood isn't hard enough, parents give them these names. I have spent my life with the joys of having a boys name. My credit card often gets me in trouble. Usually I just have to show my drivers license but once they called security on me first for a stolen credit card. Or in the ob-gyn office and they call my name , everyone looks to see the guy going to ob-gyn. They probably think I am a transsexual. So this delightful gift keeps on giving long after childhood. Now I have a lot of good friends and a godchild or two and no one has ever given my name to a child of either sex. Yet everyone says how cute my name is. Even my own kid and the boy refuses to even consider using my name if and when they have a rugrat. Hell she wouldn't even give her cat my name!
If you going to give a kid these kind of names, I have some suggestions for you like Kick My Ass, Beat Me Up, I Am A Homosexual or Take My Lunch Money. Because this is what will happen to the poor kid. So I plead on the behalf of people gifted with a dumb name, PARENTS DON'T GO IT! I have to go now and open my "mister" mail.

Shopping the old way

Now I must admit I do like to Christmas shop early and if budget allows before turkey day. And I do a lot of shopping online. But today i decided to shop the old way. I got out and braved the 40 mph winds to shop. I should of stayed in bed or even better done it online. The depressing thing about today is this is what happened last week when I went shopping the old way (less the winds). It was a bust! What has happened to stores. I wanted to boost wall street today, prove to them that consumers live and spend. But to do this stores need to get on the stick. Maybe by providing (gasp) customer service or making a coupon or an in store sale that you can understand. Like today had a coupon for a store that will remain nameless (The Avenue) the coupon said 40% off anything including items on sale. So I find a blouse for my mean mudder & I walk over to the cash register. There stands a 16 yr old boy who rings it up and says you can't use the coupon on this. Why I ask. Because he says it a red star sale item which is different from a sale item. Now I am getting ready to argue with him but then I remembered the last time I argued logic with a 16 yr old. I must admit I surrendered and paid. He was not worth the 5 to 10 yr stretch for kicking his ass.
Now for the second store. I enter hopeful and coupon less so no arguing. I have every one's wish list in my hand. I spend 1 hour in the store and exit empty handed. They had nothing but I did find a few things on my own wish list and couldn't buy them. Damn! Now I know that to some people leaving a store after an hour empty handed is not unusual. But for me it is. See I learned how to shop from my mean mudder. She's taught how to invade, conquer, and pull out (maybe she should talk to Bush). I like to call this style of shopping commando shopping. I commando shop when I shop alone. I kinda felt like the USA in Iraq I went looking for weapons of mass destruction and found nothing. So now I feel defeated.
I guess I will probably shop the new way online and in my underwear.

Last night I fell in love with some Jersey Boys!

Yes it's true I fell in love last night. I even had a wonderful dream about my Jersey Boys. Jersey Boys aka Frankie Valli and the 4 Seasons. A wonderful musical playing at the Shubert, It has been quite a while since a new musical got my heart racing. This show has everything a good musical should have and it has it all in abundance. Great story line that made sense and easy to follow, wonderful dancing, great staging, and the very best music and singers. There's even a little audience participation at the end to get up and dance. And I did so did the Kid and the Boy. The group songs are well known but until Jersey Boys you didn't know much about them. This musical introduces to you to them and each member has a say in how things went. It's not a one sided look. And I would see this show again and again. I suggest you do the same.

My pain in the ass!!

Let me tell you about the pain in my ass. Now if you think I am speaking of someone or something. You are wrong. I live with chronic pain and a vast majority is in my ass. Living with chronic pain is difficult and it is even harder to explain. Physically for me it's like sitting on a sharp yet dull knife all the time. My back feels like it was beaten with a crowbar. Then if that wasn't enough because of my disability there are assorted daily aches and pains. Muscles spasms, stiffness, and the dreaded pain fog. You learn to cope with the physical but not the pain fog. A pain fog is even harder to explain then the chronic pain. Your brain is foggy information moves slower than a snail. Your hearing isn't being processed. You are in a fog the pain is so overwhelming that overrides the senses and the brain. And in the pain fog you know you are there and things are going on around you. Yet you can't grasp them. It's just the worst. Talking with other chronic pain livers ( we are livers with chronic pain) mention pain fog and everyone knows exactly what you are talking about. And is hated by one and all. And if you are reading I hope and pray you never know chronic pain and pain fog. So take care and be nice.

Halloween and Grandma

Well it's halloween again and on it I never think first of goblins and such. No on halloween I remember my Grandma Steele. If she had lived this halloween would of been her 96th birthday. When I was little I used to think Grandma had the best birthday and I wanted my birthday to be halloween too. And I still think she has the best birthday. Grandma was a hoot. She loved a good time. I have movies of her 3 sheets to the wind coming down the stairs with a pants leg rolled up. She loved to have the family around. We used to have father day picnics, easter dinners and Grandma and mine favorite X-mas eve. All of Grandmas life you celebrated the old german way x-mas with family. That was the best her house was magical at x-mas. She had the smallest tree and that was a good thing because their were so many presents.
Grandma was a strong woman with quirks. She married 3 times never left one husband without another waiting. To be fair her first two husband were not nice men. She lost 1 infant daughter who died in her arms. She worked up until Grandpa could not really be left alone so long. Together they built the house they lived in. She raised 3 girls. I always loved her being so strong. But what I did not love was her cooking. Grandma was not a good cook. At least not when I was little. She loved salt. Everything was well salted. Her recipe fpr hamburgers was hamburger, salt, seasoning salt, onion salt, a little garlic salt and then more salt. No wonder I never salt my food. I would always ask to eat my hamburger outside and when they would let me. I'd take that burger and hide it in the garbage can. Trust me even straving children in Africia wouldn't eat it.
One of my favorite memories is when I was about 7 and spending the night at her house. Now she never got angry or even snippy with me. But this night I guess I was a little too demanding. I was in the tub and I needed more bubbles. So I told Grandma that and she said " Fart in the tub if you want more bubbles." And still to this day if I fart in the tub I remember Grandma.
So Happy Birthday Grandma! I remember you and still love you so very much!

Here I come again!

I bet you thought this will be about sex. Nope I am just back blogging. Well since my blog is wild woman rants, I guess I'll rant. I read a news report that in Ohio a daughter 17, mother 32, and grandmother 60 were arrested for murder. They chased down a group of teenagers in a car. They hit one with the car, the daughter jumps out & starts stabbing a girl 15. While this is going on the mother and grandmother holds the other teenagers at bay with chains & clubs. The daughter killed the girl. What kind of family is this. This act really got to me I don't understand the mentality behind this act. As a mother I am appalled at this action. It just's bothers me. So many lives are now ruined and for what. Apparently this family places no value on life. So may the state take their lives. And before anyone says anything about capital punishment. Let me say this I knew John Wayne Gacy. And if anyone ever needed the death sentence it was him. He killed for his own reasons, just like this family did. So they should get the same treatment. Take care and be nice.

My First Time

I bet you thought this will be about sex. Wrong! It's mt first time blogging. So here I am. My kid said I had to put up something before Monday. It's Monday in Chicago but somewhere in the world it is still Sunday, so I am safe. I don't know what I will blog about. Whatever comes to mind I guess. I think it will be a good outlet for me since I no longer work and I lack everyday interaction with people. In other words I get lonely. While my cats are great they don't laugh at my jokes. I will give you fair warning much to my kid's horror I will forgo grammar and spelling in this blog. To many rules in life anyway to bother with them here. Well now that I popped my blogging cherry. I will end this now. Take care and be nice!